haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
