you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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