Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
