I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
