Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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