Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
