Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
