I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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