I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
