so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
