The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
