last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
