I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My ass is underappreciated
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
