PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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