I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
