Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
