And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's rum buckets o'clock
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
