didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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