he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
