Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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