I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
