I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
