It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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