he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
