I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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