idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
