The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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