Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
