I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
