I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
