508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i believe in u and ur pee
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