He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
