if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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