So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
