when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize