Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize