sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
