Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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