We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize