Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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