Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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