Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
