hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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