I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
