Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
