we're blogging at a bar
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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