i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
