you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
