Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
high people should be assigned attendants
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
