but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
