I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
