They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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