She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
