well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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