I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So many bounce houses so little time
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
