Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
