How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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