Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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