yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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