apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
