i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize