dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
