just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
