i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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