one word: firstdatebathroomanal
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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