I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
