So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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