My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
