3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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